My First Car – A Real Cutie!

My first car was a used 1980 Volvo 240GT with pinstripes down the side, a sunroof with a crank handle, electric overdrive, and close to 200,000 kilometers on it. I rode in the passenger seat for the test drive. I was smart enough to bring a friend who knew something about cars and, according to him, it met all the criteria for a great used car. According to me, it was a little on the ugly side. Fortunately, naiveté and the bravado of youth were on my side. “I’m cute enough for both of us,” I thought.

I picked up the car the following day, alone except for an envelope stuffed with fifty $100 bills. I gave the money to the lady’s good-looking son and got into my new used car. I had to back it out of the carport, up the short driveway, and into the alley. After I checked the rear view mirror to see how cute I looked in my new car, I started the car. I couldn’t get it into reverse. I kept jamming the stick over that way but it wouldn’t stay.

No matter. I got out of the car and knocked on the door again. The good-looking guy answered. “Can you show me how to put the car in reverse?” I asked. I may have thrown in some batting eyelashes. He looked at me strangely as he walked to the car. “I think you have to pull up on this ring.” He pointed to the reverse release ring-thingy on the stick.

“Okay. Thanks. I got it.” He went back in the house. I sat in the car for a few more minutes trying to get the hang of this thing. I got out of the car and knocked on the door again. He opened it immediately, almost as if he expected me. “Can you just back the car out of the carport for me?” I asked less sweetly and more desperately. No batting eyelashes.

“I can’t drive,” he said. “I’m only 15.” Great. Glad I found that out before I gave him my phone number (he looked at least 19, I swear). He stood in the doorway watching as I struggled with the reverse thingy again. “Go back in the house. Don’t watch me,” I yelled. I didn’t care about being cute anymore. He shut the door but I saw the curtains move behind the window on the door. He was still watching. I was lost in a sea of self-consciousness. I wanted to give up. I wanted to get my money back, walk out to the street, and catch the bus home. Then the bravado kicked in, “I can’t let this car beat me. I paid for it. I own this car.”

And, just like that, I stopped thinking about myself for a moment, pulled up on the ring-thingy, pushed it into reverse, lifted my foot off the clutch, and stepped on the gas, all at the same time or at least in the right order. I shot out of the garage, screeched up the driveway, and lurched to a stop. It wasn’t pretty. I didn’t care. I made it out of the carport. Going forward was exhilarating.

I loved that car. It was my first real freedom and my first real responsibility. I think it was kind of cute, too.

What was your first car? Standard or automatic transmission? Cute or not so cute?

In Between Ennui

December 28. For those of us with kids, the holidays are effectively over. Christmas came and went and I tried to explain New Year’s to my 5-year-old. He nodded in complete understanding and then a couple of hours later, I asked him what the New Year meant and he didn’t know. “Is it going to be spring?” he asked.

Hmm, I wish…I’m still in recovery mode from a back ache and a cold, both of which came on very suddenly. I don’t know about you, but I firmly believe that I created both of these conditions in myself but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why. Maybe it’s because I had this idea that I could use these next few days to get a jump on the new year. Four glorious days to catch up on projects, create new ones, and heck, even take the tree and all the lights down. Usually, when I’m tackling my projects, I have notepaper nearby for my creative ideas. Busyness keeps my left brain occupied and my right brain occasionally sneaks in with a brilliant idea.

With no movement at all, everything seems to stop. I let the kids watch too much TV today while I dozed on the couch. I got up a couple of times to offer a snack or two for them and I thought about making dinner – I really thought about it. I asked my kids what I should blog about and Ben said, “Why don’t you blog about me? How I made a diorama without even knowing what a diorama is?” Um. Okay.

And he did do that. He was busy with a cardboard box, some cars, and tape of course,always tape. He just does that. Takes a few random things and turns them into something. I have something to learn from that because I’m always looking for the rhyme and reason and I’m always doing something useful! Especially since my kids came along. As a mom, I have to take advantage of every spare moment and use it wisely and productively. There are so few moments to spare.

But then I realized that I can’t even remember when I did almost nothing for a whole day. It’s been a long time but it hit me that my kids are growing quickly. I have a 5 and 3-year-old and even though they aren’t even close to being able to make their own dinner, they have the wherewithal to leave me alone on the couch for a while.

So, maybe I need to be somewhat incapacitated to fully realize that the moments are going to come and go no matter what and that sometimes it’s okay to just lay around and let it happen around me. I’m tired and listless now and I’m not going to fight it. I don’t want so many productive moments that I miss the moments where my kids are growing.